Marshall Levy almost ended my career and made me question my humanity. Levy, a juvenile thug, knew how to play the system. He bounced in and out of court for three years. Other state workers and I couldn't grasp why he was there. Levy's juvenile documents didn't match the Levy we knew. He didn't look like the gangsters or druggies we usually got. Levy came from a solid Baptist home. In fact, his father was a minister. Levy served several missions with his father, looking the part of a legit missionary. So, why did this kid keep going to detention and getting in trouble with the law?
Reports from his case said he was the politest boy, respectful in all manners. He served the other youth, and he helped his staff. He always had a smile on his face, and he brought contagious joy with him.
Levy snared the worker's hearts. During his stay, the staff broke the rules with him, like sneaking him snacks, magazines, and contraband into the detention center. They couldn't help it. The staff had never worked with a boy like him. Levy hooked everyone with his charm.
I worked as Levy's caseworker, and I must admit, I was captivated by his mask of goodness. He was a refreshing break from all my other hard-nosed clients. In a way, I almost adopted his father's role in my mind, and I would have done anything for him; Anything.
During Levy's last placement in the juvenile system, he was at a treatment program. They took the youth on daily field trips. While on a hike, Levy did the unthinkable to the staff. I choke up even now as I remember. I don't have words to describe it, but it forever changed me, for I had worked with his staff and knew them.
It turns out Levy was a psychopath. He had planned the event for months. He had no remorse for the things he did.
The situation forever changed me and so many of us state workers. I hurt for his staff. I also couldn't escape the pain that this angelic youth had a dark, twisted heart. How could he be so evil? I swear that boy emanated light. Before the incident, I sometimes wondered if he was more Christian than me.
How could Levy beguile us into thinking he was good? But he was good, wasn't he?
He couldn't be good after what he premeditated and carried out against his staff on the mountain.
He executed that.
I had to be removed as Levy's caseworker. It was too personal, but I went to all his court dates. He wore an angelic smile and treated everyone with a loving-kindness. But none of it was real.
IT WASN'T REAL!
He destroyed my hope in society.
Levy broke me.
It took me years to recover from the betrayal. I could handle untrust from every client I worked for, but not Levy.
So, here I am, five years from retirement, and it's taken me almost forty years to care for the youth again. I have been apathetic, going through the motions. I had cared for the youth until Levy had taken that from me. I hated youth. After therapy and years of work, I am again a true advocate for my youth.
But now...I don't know how to go on.
Now the ground rumbles under my feet.
I met my newest case. -his name is Marshal Levy, Jr. This is the satanic offspring of the Levy from my past. I shouldn't call him satanic, but I don't know how to face my emotions. When I read his name, I fell off my chair. Somehow, the Levy from my past had created this child fifteen years ago. How? I thought Levy served a life sentence in prison. Yet, here was his son.
I now question my integrity and my ability to be a civil servant.
I hate Levy, and I thought I had overcome that.
And, when Levy Jr. comes in, it's like the past has returned. He is the spitting image of his father, missionary-looking and all.
And the staff love him. "Isn't he such a nice young man?"
None of them were around when Levy bamboozled us.
And now, I am left with three options.
I guess I could forgive, but I thought I had.
Sabotage Levy Jr.'s case.
Feed the hate.
Quit.
How can one man have such control over me?
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The Past Returns
by Stephanie Daich