You will die. I will die. Death is part of this human experience. We know that every being on this earth will eventually pass away, yet the idea of losing loved ones can crumble us to our knees and darken our souls into a state of remorse we might not escape.
The circumstances surrounding our loved one’s death play a huge role in our ability to accept and find peace. My dear friends lost their three-year-old son, yet they had a year to prepare for his departure. During that year, they learned lessons of love and devotion while they leaned on their God. When the heartbreaking day of their son’s death came, they had mentally anticipated it. Having time to prepare did not take away their substantial loss, but it softened the sting. Whereas, when someone dies unexpectedly, we can go into a mental shock that traps and debilitates us.
When my dad died, it was sudden and unexpected. He had suffered the last ten years from one debilitating disease to another. He was in and out of surgeries. The last surgery took his life. We weren’t ready for it, but we could see the blessing in it. His quality of life had greatly diminished, and he was exhausted. If he had lived, he would have faced more surgeries and hospitalizations. None of us were ready to let Dad go, but we realized it was for the best. His suffering had ended.
In the Jewish religion, they observe stages of grief with varying customs for shiv’a, the first week following death, and then shloshim, the first month. They also have rituals and observations beyond the first year. The Jewish people place their loved ones in a realm of hallowed memories. This helps them with acceptance and closure as they envision their loved one reaching the afterlife (Gabbay and Fins, 2019).
For Catholics, the burial of the loved one is a work of mercy. Although cultures within the Catholic religion may have different ways of observing rituals of grieving, wakes, and burials. Most honor their loved one’s body by placing it in a state of peace to await the resurrection (Death, Mourning & the Afterlife, 2009).
Have you considered what death means to you and how you will respond to your death or that of a loved one? For me, experiencing my dad’s death was one of the most sacred moments of my life. I was honored to be with him as he experienced his remaining moments with us. I don’t know how I will handle death as it continues to chip away at those I love. I suppose the circumstance plays a huge role in my reaction. I am comforted by my faith that the afterlife is filled with love and sweet reunions. It takes us away from a realm of anger and pain.
One day, I, too will die. Am I ready?
Yes and no.
Reference:
Gabbay, E & Fins, J. J. (2019). Go in peace: Brain death, reasonable accommodation and Jewish mourning rituals. Journal of Religion and Health, 58(5), 1672–1686. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-019-00874-y
Death, Mourning & the Afterlife. (2009). Catholics & cultures. https://www.catholicsandcultures.org/practices-values/death-mourning-afterlife
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You Will Die
by Stephanie Daich
