Trevor convinced me to walk down the hill, toward the canyon flanking his dad’s backyard in
Tierra Santa. I wouldn’t have ventured down there on my own. I was wearing my flare jean-cut black corduroys that showed just a sliver of skin below my navel, my black velvet top with the bell sleeves, and my brand-new Demonia Mary Janes with the coffin heels. I was doing my best privileged suburbanite impression of a goth with the clothes that I had, both wanting to impress him and scare him away at the same time. Trevor was doing a great job of convincing me that he either didn’t care what I was wearing or didn’t notice. More likely, he just didn’t want me to think he cared or noticed. I had wanted to sneak a little way away from his dad’s house to smoke one of the filtered Lucky Strikes Trevor had bought for me. He was 18 and I wouldn’t be until later that year, so I relied on him for those white cartons with red lettering that I could convince him to buy for me every month or so. As we made our way through the bramble of the canyon that evening, I felt off center, unsteady, lost. The sun had just set, leaving a tease of light just beyond the thick branches that we were making our way through. Trevor saw the mild fear creeping onto my face and assured me that he knew how to get back to the house. Fairly soon, I didn’t believe him, and as we fought our way in the direction that we thought we should be going, I began singing worship songs. Any time I had ever been lost in the dark, I would sing to Jesus. I felt like no scary animal or person would attack me as I praised the Lord. So far, I had been right.
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Searching for A Way Back Home
by CLS Sandoval, PhD
BIO- CLS Sandoval, PhD (she/her) is a pushcart nominated writer and communication professor with accolades in film, academia, and creative writing who speaks, signs, acts, publishes, sings, performs, writes, paints, teaches and rarely relaxes. She’s a flash fiction and poetry editor for Dark Onus Lit. She has presented over 50 times at communication conferences, published 15 academic articles, two academic books, three full-length literary collections, three chapbooks, as well as flash and poetry pieces in several literary journals, recently including Opiate Magazine, The Journal of Magical Wonder, and A Moon of One’s Own. She is raising her daughter and dog with her husband in Alhambra, CA.
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