Dear Mental Illness,
There is no one out there that I am closer to.
You have attached yourself to me.
-tightly
You never leave.
Sometimes, you quietly remain in the background,
Making me feel as if I am in charge.
But I am not.
You are.
And have been for years.
Relationships are complicated, and inevitably, they end.
Everyone leaves me.
but not you.
You, you bastard,
You are always there.
You have clung tighter to me than even my parents have.
You make your presence known in large crowds.
I can’t shake you.
I should be honored that you are always with me.
But I am not.
You know me better than I know myself.
You must love me to dedicate yourself to me,
To show me such fierce devotion.
I have never had a more intimate relationship with another than with you.
You know every inch of my body,
For you remind me of my imperfections.
You know all my damning thoughts,
And use them against me.
I have tried to break up with you time and time again,
But you won’t let me.
You cling to me.
Your very existence depends on me.
Mental illness, you are my loyalist friend.
I know you will be with me until I die.
_____________________________________________________________
My Most Intimate Friend
by Stephanie Daich
