I am trying to be strong, to follow the plan
I can’t do this on my own.
I have to map out my day, my hour, my minute. I can’t do it alone.
If I trust myself, then I deviate.
I want to deviate, to abandon all.
I am tired of the struggle; I don’t want this anymore, these chains.
These weakness.
Why can’t I rise higher than them?
Why do I keep falling? I feel strong.
I feel on top of everything, and then I trust myself just for a moment, that sly lie that tells me only a little deviation won’t hurt me.
I can’t expect to live like this forever.
Just a small degression.
I can return. But I can’t!
It is all a damn lie! I never returned.
That is hell; I need to avoid it and run from it.
I have a plan. Every minute is accounted for; with that, I can be strong.
But I am not strong.
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I'm Trying to be Strong
by Stephanie Daich
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