I'M TRYING TO BE STRONG -Ramblings

I am trying to be strong, to follow the plan

I can’t do this on my own.

I have to map out my day, my hour, my minute. I can’t do it alone.

If I trust myself, then I deviate.

I want to deviate, to abandon all.

I am tired of the struggle; I don’t want this anymore, these chains.

These weakness.

Why can’t I rise higher than them?

Why do I keep falling? I feel strong.

I feel on top of everything, and then I trust myself just for a moment, that sly lie that tells me only a little deviation won’t hurt me.

I can’t expect to live like this forever.

Just a small degression.

I can return. But I can’t!

It is all a damn lie! I never returned.

That is hell; I need to avoid it and run from it.

I have a plan. Every minute is accounted for; with that, I can be strong.

But I am not strong.

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I'm Trying to be Strong

by Stephanie Daich