I tried to suppress it. I did. My hands clutched the video controller to numb the sorrow that robbed me of life's joy. My body jerked around as I played Lord Valdez, my favorite video game. The game did not replace the friends I missed. We used to make blanket forts and have slumber parties every weekend. But, the last two years had isolated most of us in our homes because of the pandemic. I missed life. I missed living.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Mom's muffled voice called, "Trevor, are you in your room?" I threw my blanket over my head. I didn't want her to see my tears.
"Hey, can I come in?" Mom didn't wait for an answer as she pushed open the door. She took the blanket off of my head. I had just managed to wipe the tears away and tried to smile. I don't think she bought it. She ran her hand through my hair. I inhaled her smell of lavender body wash.
"Hey, I think it would do you some good to get outside. Do you want to go on a hike?"
My attention perked. "Yes!"
Mom cleared her throat. "It won't be with me."
"Then who?"
Her eyes darted around before resting on me. "Your Great Aunt Billy."
"What? I don't have a Great Aunt Billy."
Mom put her arm around my shoulder, and I melted into her. "Great Aunt Billy is actually my aunt. You are going to love her."
"Just Billy and me?"
"Yes."
"No. That sounds weird."
"Listen, I understand how uncomfortable that might feel. Great Aunt Billy is such an amazing woman."
"How come I have never heard of her then?"
Mom squeezed me tight. "That is my fault. I should have told you my stories about her. "
"Why have I never met her?"
"Because we moved thousands of miles from her. She always asks me about you. When I was your age, she used to pick me up at least once a month. She was my world. When my parents divorced, Aunt Billy got me through it. Give her a chance. You will love her."
I doubt that.
She picked me up in her car. As I climbed in, Aunt Billy shoved empty fast-food bags into the backseat. The passenger seat had cat hair all over it. Who lived like that?
This is so weird. I don't want to go with this stranger.
Aunt Billy patted the front seat, "You can sit up here with me."
I considered it, but somehow my legs carried me into the back with all the garbage. As she drove, Aunt Billy chattered nonstop, trying to fill every dead space of conversation. It surprised me that she had brown, not white hair. She didn't look like a great aunt to me. I had pictured someone old enough to have a dinosaur for a pet still. Yet, Aunt Billy could have been the age of some of my schoolteachers.
Yack. Yack. Yack. Aunt Billy hardly took a moment for air. I enjoyed being out of the house but felt like a prisoner to this strange aunt. To make it worse, she had a smelly tree hanging from her mirror that I could taste. I hope she didn't see me spit on the floor.
Eventually, Aunt Billy stopped deep in the mountains, somewhere no one would ever find my body after she killed me.
"I used to take your mom hiking all the time," Aunt Billy said as I climbed out of the car.
As we started up the long switchback, my legs immediately screamed inside—this hurts. I hadn't realized how out of shape I had become over the last two years of isolation. Slowly, I climbed the mountain. Maybe Aunt Billy would tire of my pace, and we could go back. But she patiently waited for me, always talking, as if she thought I had listened.
"What grade are you in, again?" She asked.
"Seventh," I said between long breaths. She could talk and hike at the same time. I could hardly breathe, and I was the young one.
After we had hiked Mount Everest twice, she stopped in an opening of trees.
"They call this a meadow," she said, sounding like a teacher spouting knowledge at me. "He lets me rest in the meadow grass and leads me beside the quiet streams. He gives me new strength. He helps me do what honors him the most."
"Is that a poem?" I asked as I sat next to the stream. Water rushed by with a song of serenity. I lived on a noisy street and heard cars, sirens, and horns every second of my day. I loved how we couldn't hear anything up here except nature.
"The Bible. I was quoting Psalms 23:3-5," Aunt Billy said.
What is salms? I didn't care enough to ask.
Aunt Billy glided her fingers in the stream, then flicked a handful of water at me. The crisp water cooled me as it slid down my sweaty face. I splashed her back, and she laughed. Mom would have scolded me.
Aunt Billy laid against a bolder and said, "Listen to God at work."
"What do you mean?" I asked. I took my sweaty sock off and put my toe into the stream. It instantly froze.
"Nature. That is God's work. This mountain is God's temple. All the animals and rivers are testaments to God."
God. What did I know about God? My friend sometimes went to a temple at his church.
I looked around at the long grass, rhythmically moving with the breeze when peace entered me. Many different flowers grew around us. Their fresh fragrances calmed me. -Such a contrast to the blanket of smog I lived under in the city.
"Do you mind if I say a prayer?" Aunt Billy asked me.
My shoulders tightened, and I scooted a little away from her. She was odd. I didn't know what to say, so I shrugged.
I jerked when she grabbed my hand in her warm and solid grip.
"Dear God, thank you for this beautiful nature and that I can bring my nephew Trevor to enjoy it with me. Thank you for the peace we feel, and please help Trevor to realize this peace is You. Thank you, God, for the flowers, the mountain, and the stream. Thank you for the trees that tower over us. God, you are good. You are loving. You are kind. Thank you, God, for this life."
It felt like a blanket of peace covered me during Aunt Billy's prayer. That peace turned into a flame of comfort, building, and swelling on the inside. Tears snuck out of my eyes even though I tried to stop them.
What is this feeling?
As if Aunt Billy knew my question, she touched my chest and said, "Trevor, that is the Spirit of God you feel."
So, this is God.
Aunt Billy picked a flower and placed it in my hand. "God is like this flower, Trevor. Beautiful and pure."
When I got home, I searched my family's bookshelf to see if we had a Bible. I found one and opened it. The front page had a handwritten dedication addressed to me.
"Dear Trevor,
On this day of your birth, I give you one of the greatest Earthly gifts.
This Bible will help you through your life. Love-
Great Aunt Billy.
Wow. Aunt Billy gave me a gift when I was born. How strange that I never knew her, yet I found the Bible with a handwritten note from her.
Aunt Billy had just moved three miles down from us. We no longer lived thousands of miles away from her. What will it be like to have Aunt Billy live so close?
I placed her flower in Psalms and tucked the Bible under my pillow.
***
I finished internet school for the day and slumped on my floor. I missed my friends, and I missed Great Aunt Billy. Bored, I dove onto my bed.
My head bumped something hard. I pulled out the Bible. I could hardly believe I had read half of it in a little less than a month.
"God, if you are there?" I paused as I looked at the ceiling. "I kind of feel alone."
The Bible opened, and my eyes read Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace..."
Peace. I needed peace.
I carefully picked Billy's pressed flower from the bible, fearing it would crumble apart. I smelled it and then took out my phone.
"Hello," I heard a high voice.
My hands shook. "Uh, Aunt Billy, this is Trevor. How about one of your hikes?"
