I get out of bed, slowly, numbly
The morning dopamine has not kicked in
In fact, I have no sense of it
I sigh … that’s never a good sign
It’s going to be one of those days again
I turn off the AC
The gentle hum that had filled the spaces
Where my happy hormone should have been racing
Stops.
I blink slowly
I look at my bedroom slippers
Their shadowy forms
Like yesterday’s leaves
Plucked off by the breeze
Lie on the ground
I get up and look at my curtains
Drawn together like knitted brows
Beige-blonde brows in a frown
Censorial, dragging down
I can’t bring myself to touch
Those sulking folds
To draw them back
In the ritual
Of morning time
I sit on the stool in front of my dressing table
I look at the woman
Staring back at me
Barely visible, her outline perseveres
Reminding me that I am still here
I watch her for a while
Feeling nothing - vacuous space
And then
I see something glimmer
At the back in the mirror
The prism that I had hung up
A vestigial piece of love
From a chandelier that has long since
Ceased to grace the space above
Had caught the first ray of light
That had tried to flow
Into my chamber of shadows
Teasing, romancing it
Holding, embracing it
In all its radiant rainbow hues
I turn around towards this scene
Of sudden brightness
I get up, pull back the curtain
Just a little bit. The colours
Fall in shimmering streams
Across my feet
I lift one up and then the other
I slowly dance with the rainbow of colour
My blood gushes warm, I have to smile
It doesn’t seem like another dog day after all.
____________________________________________________________________
Bedroom Prisims
by Mahvash Mohtadullah
Bio:
Mahvash was once a part of the Financial Services Industry. Now she writes. When she’s not writing, she’s fussing in her head over ideologies of social justice and equality, with superhero twists! Mahvash’s stories and poems have appeared in The Rumen, Sequoia Speaks, Recesses, Every Day Fiction, and DoubleSpeak magazines. Her poem, “Veins” was long listed in the Plough 2023 poetry competition. She has published a book of short stories and three books in a children’s series.
Follow Mahvash Mohtadullah at:
Blog: theroamingdesi.org
Instagram: @mahvash_mohtadullah
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